Resilience—why is it important?
In education, we hear the word all the time. We hear it from parents who want to raise resilient children. We hear it from teachers who are growing and educating children. We hear it from universities who want students who are confident, competent and resilient. We hear it from the world which needs courageous and resilient adults to create change and overcome challenges.
But what is resilience and how can we actually DO something about growing this in our young people?
Resilience is the ability to cope with life’s inevitable challenges. As we know—now in the age of COVID, even more so—life is full of hard stuff. Yet humans are actually created to do hard things. Think about a 9-month-old baby attempting to walk—that is hard. Think about triathlons, marathons and Olympics—they are hard. Think about people surviving in famine-ravished countries—that is hard. Think about Christ, the trials he endured and the ultimate sacrifice he made to bring the promise of eternal life to humanity—that was a level of hard beyond our comprehension.
Our children are going to face tough times during their lives; our job as educators and parents is to equip them with the belief that they can triumph over challenges; to help them recognise that it is through adversity that we become stronger, wiser and kinder.
Justin Coulson, creator of the website, Happy Families, provides some practical tips on how to grow your child’s resilience:
Four Ways to a Resilient child
- A strong parent-child relationship
The single most important factor contributing to having resilient children is a stable, committed relationship with a supportive parent or caregiver. The more you spend time with your children, the more loved and supported they will feel and the more resilience they will build. - Develop their strengths
One of the best things for promoting resilience is having the belief that we are competent and able to face challenges. We can help our children develop these skills by helping them find their strengths. Sometimes our children’s strengths aren’t immediately obvious. We might need to cast a wide net, spending time (and maybe even money) to find the passion that really lights them up. - Develop autonomy
Controlling our children makes them anxious. Constantly, making decisions for our children or ‘fixing’ things undermines their decision-making skills, their confidence and their resilience. - Teach hope
Hope is having a goal, the belief that you can create a route to that goal and the belief that you can navigate that pathway to reach that goal.Teaching your child to be hope-ful gives them resilience. When hopeful people experience failure, they develop new pathways to pursue and alternative routes to their goals. Hope-less people just give up. We can teach our children to be hope-ful. Help them find a goal and develop the plans and routes to achieve that goal. When they get stuck, teach them to tap into their resourcefulness and initiative by brainstorming new ideas and seeking new skills.
Takeaway
As much as it can be painful to watch our children struggle, that’s our problem, not theirs. Allowing them to struggle, with our love and support, gives them a chance to develop resilience. And resilience will take them a lot further than a life clear of obstacles.
Sue Grotherr
Head of Secondary
