Gratitude. There are two stages of gratitude:
Acknowledging the goodness in your life.
Recognising the source of this goodness is outside yourself.
Our Primary Years leaders have been amazing advocates of gratitude this year. They have appreciated the opportunities presented to them and created these themselves. As a group, they were intent on saying thank you to a wide range of people who make their time at St Peters successful and enjoyable.
Being grateful for the surroundings they enjoy every day and the opportunities that they have access to played a big part in this group wanting to say ‘thanks’ to the support staff who work behind the scenes in our College. On Monday, our leaders played a role in baking, packing and writing the cards before delivering cupcakes to the members of Housekeeping, Café 45 and the Works Department. Over 80 cupcakes were distributed to these areas in time for morning tea. This genuine gesture was well received by all departments. Well done to our leaders on this initiative.
Final Assemblies Last Week
There was a wide variety of items at both assemblies last week. Many certificates and awards were handed out to students, including Principals Awards, ICAS Maths and Australian Maths Competition, certificates for Music examinations, and Swimming Age Champions. It was also an opportunity to have a wrap up of what’s been happening in the classrooms as well.
Farewells
The farewelling of students who will be leaving our community is always a sad time. We thank you for entrusting us with your children for the time they have been with us and wish families who are moving all the very best in their new environments; trusting that the learning journeys for your children will continue to be productive and positive.
We also say farewell to the following staff members –
- Ms Aurelie Hough who has been with the Primary years teaching German in Years 3, 5 and 6
- Miss Ashleigh Walters, who worked at St Peters for 6 years in both Upper and Lower Primary
- Ms Rebecca Hannan who taught in Year 5 for Semester 2, 2019
- Miss Samantha Cummings will be taking 12 months leave as she heads to our nation’s capital to continue her formal study.
- Miss Katrina Hill who taught in Year 3 for Term 4 and has taken up a position at our Springfield Campus.
- Mrs Deborah Wilson who has worked across both music and in the classroom for the past 17 years.
We wish these staff members all the very best in their future endeavours and thank them for their service to and support of our St Peters Community.
We will be formally bidding all students and teachers farewell at the conclusion of the Chapel service tomorrow afternoon. Families are very welcome to attend this service which will be held in the PAC commencing at 1.35pm.
Some holiday reading for parents
Getting cooperation from children is one of the most challenging aspects of parenting. It’s tempting to do a deal to get a child or teen to cooperate when you’re stressed, time poor or just can’t be bothered with an argument. The art of the deal is best left out of family life as it promotes a self-centred approach in kids. It also teaches them that they get what they negotiate, which becomes even harder work for parents. Parenting Ideas founder Michael Grose shares five proven strategies you can use to get cooperation from even the trickiest of kids.
Avoid doing deals with kids by Michael Grose
Have you ever said something like this to one of your kids? “If you eat all your dinner up, I’ll let you use my iPad for five minutes.”
Most kids under the age of ten would empty their plate in an instant with that sort of carrot dangled in their face. But it’s a tricky game you play when you start to do deals with kids to win their cooperation. For a start, you need to be prepared to raise the stakes as the novelty of five minutes of iPad use will soon wear off.
This would also mean you need to be prepared to keep dealing with your kids, as they soon learn that if they hang out long enough, Mum/Dad or whoever will offer me a juicy enticement to win my favours.
You get what you negotiate
Keep doing deals with kids enough and they learn that they get what you negotiate. That’s fine in the business-world, but hard work in families. I’ve seen mums who deal with kids because they just want peace and quickly. I’ve also seen dads deal with their kids because they simply enjoy negotiating. They see it as a game. That’s hard work for their partner who doesn’t use those methods.
Kids who do deals
Sometimes it’s kids who do the negotiating. “You want me to go to bed at 8.00pm do you? Well I’ll go to bed at 8 o’clock if I can have a TV in my room” says a born negotiator. It takes a savvy parent to say, “Actually, no. That’s not going to happen.” Sometimes we become involved in child-initiated deals before we’re even aware it’s happening. Again kids can take advantage of busy, tired or time-poor parents.
The last resort
If doing deals with kids to get cooperation is a strategy you use then it should be a strategy of last resort (to use when your mother comes to visit; when you are dog-tired; or when you want a cosy Sunday morning in bed), not the first one you use when you want your kids to behave well.
Here are 5 alternatives to ‘doing deals’ with kids:
- Catch them doing the right thing: Make a bit of a fuss when your kids behave as you want. Tell your face that you are pleased with your kids so it lights up, and kids get to notice you are happy with their behaviour. This is based on the premise that parent recognition (“Mum/Dad is happy with me”) is a high driver for many kids.
- Reward them after the behaviour you want: Avoid saying, “If you behave well on our shopping trip I’ll buy you a matchbox car.” This is bribery, which is tied up with the art of dealing. Instead, show your appreciation with a treat after they have behaved well. The order of events makes a huge difference!
- Manage like a cat: There are times when a child or teen needs to know that “No means no” rather than “No is just a suggestion”. A message delivered with firm body language, a still head and a clear, flat voice without intonation indicates to a child or teen that you are serious and that no further communication is to be entered into. This non-verbal communication is quite cat-like, thus the cat metaphor for parent credibility.
- Let consequences be your friend: Let your actions, or lack of action, do the talking. Rather than negotiating with kids to pack their toys away, put toys that are left around into the ‘mystery bin’ for a time. You may need to hold firm to a tantrum when you use this method, but hang tough so your child sees that you really mean what you say and do.
- Focus on you, not them: Want them to go bed on time? Then start reading their bedtime story at the agreed time whether they are there or not. (This works well if your child is a reader! Not so good if your child isn’t interested in books. It’s the principle that counts). Resist calls for ‘that’s not fair!’ as not being in bed at an agreed time is not fair on you either! The simple shift from telling them what to do to telling them what you will do makes a massive difference particularly when you have a child who doesn’t like to be told what to do.
Nothing works all the time, so smart parents know they need to have a number of different strategies at their disposal when they want cooperation from their kids. They also have a hierarchy of responses that places ‘making deals with kids’ their last resort, rather than their first option.
In fact, it may be best to leave doing deals out of your parenting armoury altogether and focus on using other communications methods instead.
Michael Grose, founder of Parenting Ideas, is one of Australia’s leading parenting educators. He’s the author of 12 books for parents including Spoonfed Generation and the best-selling Why First Borns Rule the World and Last Borns Want to Change It. His latest release Anxious Kids, was co-authored with Dr Jodi Richardson.
Me Box Show
Grade 6 artwork in the cabinets in the PAC now. It has been timed to coincide with Presentation Morning on Thursday and will be on display until then.
The show is the final artwork for our grade 6 students, reflecting upon ‘Who we Are’. It is called the Me Box Show, and each student has created a box that reflects aspects of themselves.
Thank You
What an amazing year! I would like to thank the St Peters community for their support over this last 12 months. It is such a privilege to work here with amazing children, parents and staff and have loved fulfilling my passion of working towards common goals for your children in their educational journey.
On behalf of the Primary Years staff, I would like to wish you a happy and safe Christmas season. May you all have some time to rest and rejuvenate after the busyness of this year, and look forward to continued collaboration in 2020.
Pam Carden
Head of Primary Years
